حوار بيني وبين نفسي

كتبت هذه المقالة قبل 5 شهور
نقلتها من الكراسه إلى المدونه

خاطره بيني وبين نفسي

أجلس الان في قهوة ستاربكس داخل مكتبة بارنز أند نوبلز
وقد راودني الشعور أنا أكتب ما في خاطري
وأعبر عن ما في قلبي من مشاعر وأحاسيس
لست بكاتب ماهر أو محترف
ولكني مؤمن أن مشاعري ستسطر نفسها بين السطور

وعلى حد أعتقادي أنا مهما وصل الكاتب من قوة في الأسلوب
ومهما وصل المتحدث من خطابة وألقاء
ومهما وصل المخرج السينمائي من إماكنيات عالية بالتصوير
لن يستطيعوا أنا يكونوا الصورة الحقيقيه من مشاعر الإنسان
ولكن أملي أن يصل جزء كبير من هذه الصورة من خلال حبر قلمي

أكتب هذه الرسالة إلى نفسي, وما أحب هذه النفس إلى قلبي
وما أقرب هذه النفس لي حتى أصبحت تلازمني في حزني وسعادتي
وفي ضيقي وفرحي, وفي تعبي وراحتي, وفي لعبي وجدي

تعيش معي وقت الشدائد والأحزان, و وقت تجمع الأصحاب والأقران
تعرف كل شئ عني, المعلن والخفي
فإنها خازنة ذكرياتي, حتى بأشياء لن تطري على بالي

فوالله لم أجد في حياتي أوفى منها لي
فإنها أقرب الناس لي بل أقرب من خلي وأخواني
قد تعبت على بناء علاقة جيدة معها, وقد دربتها على أتباع الحق
وعلمتها أن نترك سويا ما لا ينفعني بالدنيا والاّخرة

قد البعض يضحك ويقول كيف تدرب نفسك؟
أأنت عاقل؟
أقولها بكل ثقة "نعم" دربتها وأحسنت تربيتها
لأن نفسك بطبيعتها تتبع الهوى وقد حرمتها من أتباعه
ونفسك إن لم تعلمها على العمل الدأوب ستتعود على الكسل
وإن لم تعلمها على الدراسة الجاده لفضلت النوم والملل
وإن لم تعلمها على أهمية العباداة والتقرب إلى الله لنخرطت في الشهوات والمعاصي

(نفسك إن لم تشغلها بالحق .. شغلتك بالباطل)

ومن هنا أرفع قبعتي تقديراً وحباً إلى نفسي المطيعة لي
فأنا فخور بها أشد الفخر
فكل نظرة أنظرها في المراّه أرى نفسي أشد الأعجاب بنفسي
أبتسم لها, أقبلها, أنظر لها بتمعن وأقول سيصبح لنا شأن عظيم في المستقبل
أنظر مرة أخرى بأبتسامه أكبر وأقول نعم أستحق أنا أكون عظيم
فالعظيم من الداخل ستبان عليه العظمى في الخارج

بدأ حوار بيني وبينها
وقالت: ما هو سر إعجابك بنفسك؟ ما الذي يميزك عن غيرك؟
أجبتها بسرعة لا يهمني شأن غيري ولا أحب المقارانات
فأنا مسؤول عن نفسي ولأتكلم عنها بكل شفافيه

:::
خــــــــاص
::::

فأوقفتني نفسي وقالت: ألا ترى أن هذا الكلام تكبر؟
فأجبتها الصورة التي أضعها عن نفسي هي الواقع الذي أعيشه
فتوقعي سيصبح واقعي, وإن لم أذكر إيجابيات نفسي فمن سيذكرها
فأنا أعرف الناس وأحق الناس مدحاً بنفسي
فالثقة بالنفس هي من صفات القادة الناجحين
وقد قال الإمام الشافعي عن نفسه

علي ثياب لو يباع جميعها .. بفلس لكان الفلس منهن أكثرا
وفيهن نفس لو تقاس ببعضها .. نفوس الورى كانت أشد وأكبرا

فمعرفة الذات والتعامل معها أمر مهم
فقد عرفت نفسي وأيقنت التعامل معها
فوالله ما بعد هذه السعاده إلى قولي

(أحمدك وأشكرك ربي على هذه النعمة)

كانت هذه مشاعر دفاقه في قلبي أخرجتها من غير تكلف ولا تدبر
فهذا كلام قلبي قد خطه قلمي

15/9/2006

Who am I??

A consultant entered a room full of desperate people who are trying to have a mental self improvement in their "useless" life. He started his workshop by asking all the attendees to write 10 positive ideas about themselves. They stared at each other as the clock ticked with frozen pens on the Table. What a shame!!

The first step of self-esteem is knowing your self perfectly and respect those facts.
As we say it in Kuwait knowing your self from tick tick until Bye Bye ^_^

Who is Abdulrahman Alrashidi?

1- I'm a Muslim, an Arab, a Kuwaiti; and that's how I like to align them.

2- December 19th is that day where the world was blessed by me!

3- I'm a senior student pursuing my bachelor degree in the College of Business at the University of Toledo.

4- My major goal in this life is to please Allah and satisfy my parents. How important is life without those?!

5- Islam is the number one priority in this life.

6- I love Kuwait; born, lived, grown, learned, laughed, cried, and probably die there!

7- I always give my family serious attention. I love being around them.

8- Sometimes I'm confused.. When I'm around the people I get those serious impressions about me. But when I'm around the family, I happen to be the best comedian ever. Strange!

9- I have been around many spots in the world during the past 21 years of my great life. America, London, Paris, Turkey, Lebanon, Syria, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Dubai, Kenya, Niagara Falls, Toronto, California, Florida, Chicago, New York, and even more.

10- I'm always proud of my parents. The people who are close to me can tell by listening to how much I talk about them. You can read all the contributions they gifted me with in this life from the here.

11- As a wise person who secures his valuable house with locked doors and regulates the people who enters and leaves; I do the same thing with people who try to enter my heart. But if they have reached this point I'll be the most kind and generous!

12- I'm always respectful, friendly, loyal to my friends in this life. I wish to be happy with them in this life and be blessed with their companianship next life.

13- My "only" Enemy in this life is "the devil" .. For that I give all the people in the world the chance to open dialogue, exchange thoughts, and respect one antoher.

14- Maybe you will find this so formal or impossible, but yes I never discriminate people based on their culture, gender, nationality or race. Didn't I mention I'm a Muslim :?

15- Since I was 10 years old, my mother used to leave the house and ask me to take care my younger brothers. When she comes back she realize that everything is under control with know lazy kids tricks! She always tell my Abdulrahman "You are a responsible man." Well thanks mother for these inspirational words which made increase my responsibility in life.

16- I have to admit.. I'm in Love! But can't tell you with who. Its a secret!

17- I always look at the positive and bright side of every situation I'm in. That I got from the teachings of Islam. Verse of the Quran "You probably will hate something but its good..."

18- Maaaan.. I hate it when I look dumb in front of those abbreviations that the people use while talking. For example "I'll send you a pm." or "In the business HNI is the most influential person." Come on!! Why do you assume that everyone understand RSU!!

19- Anyways .. Do you want to know my fav's ???!

Favorite Books: You don't need a title to be a leader; 7 Habits; Hibat Ala7lam.
Favorite Reciter: A7med Al3agmi
Favorite Artist: Cat Stevens
Favorite Monshed: 7mood Alkhother
Favorite Sport: Soccer
Favorite TV show: Lost
Favorite Leader: Malcolm X
Favorite Actor: Denzil Washington
Favorite Scholar: Yusuf Alqardawi, Hamza Yusuf
Favorite Shaiekh: Tariq Alsuwaidan, Mohammed Alawadi
Favorite Movies: MalcolmX, The Gladiator, The hurricane, Lean on me

20- I consider my self a conservative open minded Muslim. I would not compromise in any Islamic basis, in fact I love to have a chance to contribute even a "little" to my religion. Truly my prayer, servant of sacrifice, my life, my death is all for the sake of Allah. May Allah take away from any arrogant or hypocrite actions. Ameen

21- Think for a moment. How tough is it to have your beloved far away from your eyes for days, months or years. Real tough and sad Huh? You have nothing to do but wait until your eyes be delighted with his face again so your heart would see the light.. So how about having your own closest brother pass away from this life for good and the light will never bee seen. Do you know how painful it feels? Sitting alone with a tear and a cry with good memories would reduce the sadness the you hold in your heart, but being patient and having Faith that you're going to meet him again sometime takes out the pain completely. May Allah forgive "Sa'ad" and give us a better gathering in the highest level of Paradise with him and all my family. Ameen.

22- I was five years old when Sadam invaded Kuwait. I remember rare flashbacks on what we did in those moments. Check out this. While Iraqis were all over the cities stealing houses, torching innocent people, and firing supermarkets. People were already scared and most hiding in their houses. My father thought of an idea; he took me and my two older brothers for a ride using our bicycles to his friends house and kept telling us his wisdom quotes "Enjoy life" and so on!! He is either refusing to be a shameful slave or he was so careless and brave.. You Judge!

23- For the people who guessed that he was brave. I have a surprise for you; he was caught and send to Iraq for three months as a Prisoner of War. Look at where bravery could lead to?! :)

Coming up .. More and More things about me....

:: Love ::

Before I begin, let me start with this: my message here is not about love in the traditional Islamic way. Instead, it was written for those who are in “love” in today’s society to gain a better understanding to the questions to follow.

Are you in Love? How can you tell? By the way, what does the word “love” really mean?

Love has always been a subject that people are anxious to talk about. I consider it to be the emotional feeling that a person holds for another person, object, land, memorable place, or anything else that a person holds dear.

We have many examples from history to help us understand the meaning of love. For example, we’ve heard of stories of a person who would sail overseas and give his ultimate effort just to see his beloved! Another would kiss the ground of his lover's land just to satisfy a glimpse of his desire for her. Some people stay awake all night staring at their bedroom wall for hours assembling the beautiful images of a girl with crystal clear eyes and long hair that looks like shredded pearls, smelling the elegant aroma of her body, and hearing her soft voice as if it was coming from musical instruments; but when you come to reality, the truth is nowhere near those imaginations! Overall, we have witnessed that a man or woman will do anything just to please his beloved, even if, in the extreme cases, it leads to hell! Hey, who cares about heaven if this would satisfy them now?!?!

Hell? Yes. Did you not hear about the person who threw himself from the fifth floor of a building just because his girlfriend betrayed him! This guy cried day and night sending his girlfriend messages saying, "I'm nothing in this life without you, please reply to my message or something bad will happen to me." Another story comes from a person that sits on the beach watching the waves as they splash in front of him; and this long painful tear leaves his eye making its way down his cheek just because his lover forgot to congratulate him for his birthday! Poets have contributed painful feelings to our society by admitting that their lovers have broken their hearts. One poet said that he is willing to cut his hand to write her name with his own blood. This poet even went on to explain that even if he would see her every day and night, in every dream and in reality; this would still not satisfy him. He would love to sacrifice his life in exchange of the two spirits with her; so she can continue breathing happily in this life and he takes her place in the dark grave!!


How painful and bad is love?Isn’t it supposed to be a good feeling that a person carries?
Why do we see these negative circumstances on the person who carries the love?!

To me the best description of love was given in one of the “Tash ma Tash” episodes, a Saudi Arabian comedy. Some one named Hmaidan woke up in the morning and said, "Something is itching me in the bottom of my neck I don't know what it is." So his foolish brother Saidan said, with an innocent look, "Oh yeah...this is love wa ana abook" Thank you “Tash ma Tash” for these words; finally we have gotten something useful from you! Hmaidan is 100% right. Love is only an itch that comes to you. If you give this itch an important priority, treat it well, and take care of it all the time, it will get worse! But, if you just leave it alone and let it grow with wisdom, the pain will slowly disappear between your eyes and things will be under control.

Maybe someone will say, “Abdulrahman you will never understand because you have never been in love in your life!!” Well, DUH!!
If you consider love to be counting the beats of my heart as they beat faster when she calls me, or sweating while answering her call while I wait for a loving word from her, or spending all of my money buying prepaid phone cards to talk to her, or buying those expensive gifts for every upcoming event. Then yes, I have never been in this sad and yucky situation before. I have never accepted myself to be a slave under this kind of situation. I own my heart, and I'm the only one who gives the regulations on how to react with my emotional feelings. I never accept any automatic actions that my heart wants to take before balancing out the consequences.

Believe it or not... I am in love!
Did you forget that I am a normal human who carries desire, passion, emotions and feelings in his heart? But, a smart person is one who controls those feelings and knows how and when to react with them. Before falling in love, you must know the three “W’s.” That doesn’t mean the open line to an Internet explorer page! It is answering the three important questions of: whom, why, and what? And yes, those are the codes to open a perfect love line.

To be continued…

قل لي ما هو القرار

أنت من يحدد مسيرك بمجرد الإختيار

لا تقل هو- هي - هم - صديقي - الجار

حياتك بيدك

إما إلى العلا أو في إنحدار

هذه الحياة محدودة والدقائق فيها معدودة

هل ستنجح في الإختبار؟

ضع لنفسك أهدافاً

فمن جد وجد

ومن زرع حصد

وإنظر إلى حلاوة الأثار

لا تقلل من شأنك

إنظر لنفسك في المراّة

!وقل نعم أستطيع بكل إفتخار

تمتع بحياتك وأستثمر إمكانياتك وحدد غياتك

تكن بطل مغوار

من أطاع الله جعل له مخرجا

ومن أعرض عنه لن يرى فرجا

هل أستفدت من الإنذار؟

كم من خاسر أخراه

إين ما ألقى به الزمان سار
وكم من حرٍ .. أسير دنياه

وسجين .. يعيش عيشة الأحرار

أزرع بذرة .. تحصد

أفعل خيرا .. تأجر

أدرس .. تنجح

أعمل .. تلقى

حتى تصل إلى نهاية المشوار

هذا شعري أفضل من ملايين الأشعار

كن صاحب قرار

ترى الدنيا تبتسم لك في كل دار

كن صاحب قرار

ترى الفلس عندك يصبح دينار

كن صاحب قرا

رترى اليأس يفارقك حتى طار

يــــا إخــوانــــي كل خطوة تبدأ بالإختيار

تريد أن تعرف اخر المسار,,

قل لي .. ما هو القرار؟

16/6/2006